You just made my list!

I’ve avoided talking about this bore for as long as possible but I just can’t take it anymore.

Can we please agree to stop pretending this empty bag is “interesting” and “provocative?” And for the love of GOD, what will it take to stop saying every new female “artist” is the “next Madonna?” I’m sorry but Madonna was tolerable at best so being the next Madonna is like being the next Bud Light.

Yeah, you heard me, Madonna really wasn’t that great. Compared to Lady Gaga, however, Madonna was fucking Johann Sebastian Bach. Compared to Madonna, Lady Gaga is simply Sebastian Bach.*

You can’t polish a turd but apparently if you put that same turd in a costume made out of tampons it’s suddenly pushing artistic boundaries. Here’s an idea, work on the music first and once that’s perfected dress up like cereal boxes all day long. Actually no, forget that, I’m officially declaring no more costumes for anyone. It’s been done and it’s been done better… David Bowie, Kiss, Devo, David Byrne, The Village People, GWAR, The Ramones, Elton John, The Residents, Marilyn Manson, etc.

So there you have it, I have spoken, it is written and I’m sure within a matter of days Lady Gaga’s career will be over. (please don’t wake me from this dream)

*Was that a good joke, I honestly can’t tell anymore.