You just made my list!

FINALLY, we have a texting world champion and his name is Nathan Schwartz. Did you go to a kick ass texting world championship party like me? I went to my friend Joey’s house and it was fucking packed ass to elbow. IT-WAS-OFF-THE-HOOK! Oh, and what was your favorite texting world championship commercial this year?

FUCK OFF! What is happening to the world I live in? I relate to my fellow humans less and less every day.

This is you to me: “Hey jerk, this was just a corporate publicity event for blah blah blah.”

Me to you: “Inhale my FART!” I know that this was just a way for some company to create a viral video (and here I am like an asshole helping them) but it does not make me hate everyone involved any less. Maybe I’m just jealous that it takes me about 45 minutes to type “sounds good, see you there” on my cell phone. I should try “sdz gd c u thr” next time.

Actual footage of the world ending

I need a nap.