You just made my list!

I should have written about this yesterday, since it was actually Talk Like Shakespeare Day, but I was too busy talking like an adult and doing adult things. As far as I know, this bullshit only took place in Chicago but you can waste your time trying to figure it out at talklikeshakespeare.org.

I kind of feel like a jerk for hating “fun” stuff like this but I can’t help it, I just do. Remember International Talk Like a Pirate Day? I hated that just as much, maybe more. So, on Talk Like a Pirate Day do you talk exclusively like a drunken Arrrrgh-style pirate or can you also talk like the pirates from Somalia? What do they say? I think it’s mostly stuff like “I’m going to kill you and dump your body in the ocean.” FUN!

The main reasons I hate things like Talk Like Shakespeare Day is because I used to have to do graphic design for crap like this and I was always amazed at the amount of wasted time that went into these misguided campaigns. Imagine spending weeks working late and taking conference calls with well-meaning poisonous bunch-back’d toads (their website suggests saying that instead of cursing) about Talk Like Shakespeare Day. No seriously, sit back and imagine it, I will wait…

Horrifying? Methinks yes.