You just made my list!

First of all, I am a big fan of mixed martial arts (MMA) and the UFC so this is not some veiled complaint about fighting. This is merely my plea to all clothing designers to PLEASE stop putting skulls, wings and crap all over every square inch of every shirt!

As a fan of MMA I have been to a few UFC fights and many bars for pay-per-view events and let me tell you, every guy in the joint is covered in wings and skulls. Skulls and scrolls. Scrolls and Wings. If you were the date of one of these metrosexual tough guys and went to the bathroom I would imagine you might have a hard time picking out your orange boyfriend in the crowd upon returning. It’s like a douchebag version of Where’s Waldo. “Where’s Dildo!” I just thought of that. I am awesome!

I might not care if this style of clothing was confined to the cage, but skulls and wings are taking over the world! The other day I was trying to find a few simple, casual button down shirts and EVERY single shirt I picked up looked like it had accidentally been sucked through a printing press. I ended up buying a rug for the kitchen instead. A RUG! How the fuck am I going to wear a rug?

I am right about EVERYTHING!

Stop it! Stop wearing Che Guevara t-shirts and stop stuffing your stupid baby into Che onesies in an attempt to prove your kid is cool. Your kid is a dork and it’s your fault.

Is there anything more Ironic and wrong that a man known for counterculture, revolution and anti-capitalism is now plastered all over $40 baby shirts? Che would shit his pantalones with excitement if he knew his message of socialism and guerrilla warfare had finally reached Brian Cunningham of North Haven, Connecticut. Guess what? Brian thinks it’s a Rage Against The Machine shirt.

If you want to wear a Che Guevara shirt that badly please buy this one. While you’re at it get rid of your stupid fucking Von Dutch crap too. Kenny “Von Dutch” Howard was a psycho racist.