Tag Archive 'threadless'

Feb 04 2010

The Apple store and Threadless iPhone cases!

apple store employees

Lucky you, today you get to hear me complain about two things that suck.

1) The Apple store!

Let me first say that I love Apple products. However, I’m not a blind “fanboy,” rather I love Macs because they FUCKING WORK and as a graphic designer there is no substitute. Unfortunately I have had to spend a lot of time in the Apple store this week due to the cockless anus face who stole my computer. Have you been in an Apple store recently? They are bucking the system by eliminating any form of check out counter. Instead, each hip t-shirt-wearing employee has the ability to complete your purchase right there where they are standing in their skinny jeans. This may look cool, but it means the end of waiting in a orderly line to be served. The only way, literally, to be served in an Apple store is to stand in the middle of the floor with a confused look, like a sad puppy begging for a Snausage. It makes you feel like a whore standing on a street corner trying to out-whore the other whores.

2) Threadless iPhone cases!

If you have any doubt as to why I FUCKING HATE Threadless, please watch this video and it will all be clear. These fucking assholes at Griffin Technology and Threadless are acting like they cured cancer when they accidentally mixed their cure for A.I.D.S. with their cure for multiple sclerosis. Mark McGlon (never has a last name so perfectly described a lumpy tub of crap) practically has tears in his fat eyes as he describes the printing of doodles on plastic iPhone cases as “brilliant.” Brilliant? BRILLIANT?!? And if you ever wanted to see inside the empty mind of a Threadless design winner (and Threadless employee… hmmmmm), please watch douchebag hipster nerd Joe Van Wetering describe the BRILLIANT design process behind his doodles. Please get your gentle voice and Hitler hair out of my dreams and into my car, where I will drive you to a warehouse and force you to makeout with a girl.

24 responses so far

May 20 2009

Threadless and the people who worship them!

I Hate Threadless

Fuck Threadless and their oh-so-clever bullshit! I hate the cult of Threadless.

If you do not know what Threadless is, take a moment to high-five yourself for being awesome. Threadless is a website where people send in their cutesy little t-shirt designs and an online community of lonely teens and aging hipsters with tiny glasses vote on which crappy doodle gets produced on actual t-shirts. Once these shirts are produced all the Threadless zombies rejoice and cum in their panties because every week they can buy more shirts with precious scribbles on them.

Do I think every Threadless shirt sucks? No, but I do honesty hate 98% of them. Do I think anyone who owns a Threadless shirt sucks? No, but I really can’t stand it when people are obsessed with them.

You know how there are just some things in life you hate but can’t quite explain why? Well this is not one of those things for me, I fucking hate Threadless.

65 responses so far