Jul 07 2010
Commercials for hospitals!
“Holy shit Linda, I think I’m having a heart attack!”
“What did you say Brad? I’m scrapbooking.”
“I said I’m having a fucking heart attack! You need to get me to the hospital!”
“Oh jeez, don’t panic, I saw a really cute commercial the other day for a hospital. The doctors looked so handsome and the girl doctors were Asian. What the heck was it called?”
“Just call 911 Linda!”
“Hold your horses mister, I think you would really like this place, it had a real cute entrance with a cute fountain and the doctors were walking in slow motion. It made them look very hip.”
“I think I just pissed my pants. LINDA!”
“Maybe that dang commercial is on the DVR, I think I saw it during Ellen. Oh, that reminds me, I saved it for you because that sports fella you like was on.”
“Heart…attack…FUCK…THE…DVR!”
“That’s some way to talk! Fine let me check Yelp. Ooooooh, this one gets 4.5 stars! Dave_matthews_1_fan says it has the best vending machines! Brad, does that sound good?”
“Heart…ex…..ex………..exploding.”
“Shoot, sandwich_lover gives it 1 star and says ‘don’t waste your time, I’ve been to better hospitals.‘ Brad what do you think? I wish I could remember what hospital that commercial was for. It was black and white. Brad? BRAD? IT WAS BLACK AND WHITE.”
“dying.”
“OK, keep your pants on. Let me just update my Facebook status real quick and we can be on our way to that vending machine hospital… ‘Leftover pizza, sweat pants, Legos EVERYWHERE and late night trip to the hospital… just another crazy day for the Smithporks!’”
“Take me lord, I am ready.”
“Found it Brad! Honey? Crawl into the living room, I wanna show you.”
