You just made my list!

Question: Have you ever seen a guy dressed as a pimp for Halloween who was NOT a huge douchebag?
Answer: No.

I think a better name for this costume would be “Guy who will fail to give you an orgasm but will jizz in your hair before yacking all over your bed and probably also a little in your hair so now you have barf and jizz in your hair.” That might be a little long for the packaging but you have to admit, it’s catchy!

I would be willing to bet my life savings (currently in negative status) that both Jon Gosselin and Guy Fieri have dressed as pimps at some point in their douchey lives. Chew on THAT before you decide to dress as a pimp this year!

This is going to be a short post for exactly 3 reasons.

1. Chicago finally has nice, warm weather and I want to sit in my yard and get drunk.
2. I have spent the last 2 hours getting drunk in my yard.
3. I have a suspicion that nobody gives a shit about this stupid website and my bullshit anymore.
4. I purchased the Criterion Collection version of Bottle Rocket on DVD today and I want to watch it.
5. Shut up!
6. I have spent the last 2 hours getting drunk in my yard.
7. For the record, I have a chair, it’s not like I am literally sitting in the middle of my yard drinking. Idiot.
8. The world will be ending soon. Thanks North Korea!
9. I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outasafghddddddddddddddddddd. Sorry I just fell asleep face-down on my computer.
10. I hate that I even know who fucking Jon and fucking Kate are!!!

The official post begins now… Blah blah blah, I hate Jon and Kate. Kate is mean and Jon is miserable. The end.