You just made my list!

If you have a ponytail and a strong opinion about graphic novels, I’m guessing you are currently home alone fondling your Fushigi Balls. There is also a 37% chance a cassette tape of the Dr. Demento show is currently playing in the background and your penis has not known the pleasure of a vagina.

If you are like me, you are incredibly good-looking and wondering, “What is ‘contact juggling’ and this so-called ‘Fushigi Ball?'” The answer is simple… who cares, let’s go listen to Shout at the Devil and drink beer!

Fine. Contact juggling is juggling but without all the juggling. You happy?

But what is a Fushigi Ball? Is it magic, does it defy gravity? The answer is yes, if you are easily confused by mirrors! For the rest of us, Fushigi Ball is simply a fucking clear ball with a fucking chrome ball inside. When combined with contact juggling, Fushigi Ball can create the illusion of a ball that… um… a ball that appears to… well… fuck, I don’t know, it looks like a ball!

“Hey mom. Fushigi, I like don’t know what it is but it’s the coolest thing ever and I can do it. Also I’m pregnant again.”

This is a case where I almost feel a little guilty and start to wonder why so many things bug me. But who cares, I just hate people who took the time to learn how to unicycle. It’s such a “look at me, pay attention to me” kind of thing to do (unlike blogging). It’s bad enough when someone rides a normal unicycle but then there are those turds who ride the super tall unicycles. They are the worst people in the world. The only thing that could make the unicycle scene worse would be if they held their own critical mass and rode around in traffic juggling and looking smug.