Tag Archive 'sarah palin'

Mar 24 2010

Anne Geddes and any photo of a giant man holding a baby!

anne geddes sucks

Yeah, that creepy poster of a baby dressed as corn is really going to brighten up your beer-soaked, double-wide trailer. IT’S SOOOOO CUTE!

I think I hate Anne Geddes because I’m jealous of her. I mean could there be anything easier than plopping some stupid babies into a giant salad and snapping a few photos? Put a baby in a bunny suit and get ready to start counting your money. BITCH!

The only people worse than Anne Geddes are the tasteless dolts who eat this shit up. I honestly can’t comprehend looking at one of these posters and thinking “Oh yeah, I love that. I love it when babies dress in cactus outfits. I NEED that!” I like children, but this shit makes me want to do a Geddes-style poster of a baby dressed as a golf ball that’s about to get whacked by a giant golf club.

And can we all just PLEASE agree to stop taking black and white photos of tiny babies being held by hairy shirtless men? OK, we get it, life is precious and fragile and babies look small in big hands and look how strong those hands look and we have to protect babies and the circle of life and kumbaya and peace on Earth and that scene in Ghost where Patrick Swayze fucks Demi Moore on a pottery wheel and Sarah Palin, and Jesus and Blue Collar Comedy and Walmart… Lord, take me now!

anne geddes man holding baby in hands

anne geddes baby with man

man holding baby photo

20 responses so far

Nov 20 2009

Sarah Palin!

sarah palin idiot moron

I thought we were done with this ridiculous idiot. There is nothing more that needs to be said about this moronic dolt, so instead I will rank the cast of Friends from best to worst.

friends joeyJoey Tribbiani
This is a no-brainer. I mean come on, it’s Joey! He’s clearly the most lovable friend. He’s an actor, a cocksman and he got his head stuck in a turkey.

friends monicaMonica Geller
Sure, Monica is a neat freak and highly competitive but she’s also fun. She’s one of the guys. She’ll kick your ass at ping pong or Ms. Pac-Man and look good while doing it. She gets points taken off for banging Chandler though. That’s just gross.

friends rossRoss Geller
The spot for the third best friend is almost a tie but Ross squeaks by for his goofy antics. Who can forget the leather pants incident or the spray tan fiasco? Plus, he had a pet monkey and that’s worth a lot in my book. Points deducted for being in love with Rachel and for all his serious, dramatic moments. Blah.

friends chandlerChandler Bing
Could Chandler BE anymore in fourth place? The Chandler and Joey roommate years were great. They had a pet duck and for a while their only piece of furniture was a canoe. Let’s not forget his romance with the lovely Janice, who I believe is his true soul mate. Chandler could have taken the third spot if not for all those hideous vests he wore over the years. Plus he got fat once he started dating Monica. Come on Chandler, Mon deserves better!

friends phoebePhoebe Buffay
Sorry Phoebe, but as a hippie you must rank low on the list. When her mother committed suicide it must have been incredibly difficult for Phoebe and her twin sister Ursula so I feel a little guilty ranking her so low.

friends rachelRachel Green
Rachel Sucks.

25 responses so far

Jan 20 2009

George Bush and Dick Cheney!

Published by under Jerks

Bush Cheney pure evil

I was trying to find a way to make this funny but when I think back to the last 8 years I find very little to laugh about in the world of American politics. Well, maybe Sarah Palin, man was she hilarious! So I will simply say to George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and all their toadies…

FUCK OFF! I hope we never see your faces again.

23 responses so far

Nov 04 2008

People who do not vote!

It’s tempting to want “the other side” to stay home and not vote on election day but I would much rather see every person who is eligible get off their complacent asses and vote! The voting turnout in our country is shameful and embarrassing.

If you are an eligible voter and do not exercise this right then you are an idiot and you better keep your fat, dumb mouth shut on any subject pertaining to politics. You had your chance to speak up on election day but you decided to say home with a bag of Zesty Taco Doritos sitting on your tummy watching a “Cheaters” marathon. So keep your Dorito hole shut pal.

Like most comforts and freedoms in America, too many people take the privilege of voting for granted. And guess what? Casting a vote feels good. It feels GREAT! So get out there and vote your sweet ass off America, no matter who you are voting for. (but honestly, you should vote for Obama)

23 responses so far

Oct 24 2008

Mid-day post: Maybe it’s not such a bad thing to send Sarah Palin on a $150,000 shopping spree for new clothes!

Published by under Why?!?


Click for more Sarah Palin Fashion tips!

7 responses so far

Oct 20 2008

John McCain, Sarah Palin and the Republican party!

I would really rather be writing about something frivolous but I just can’t bite my tongue about this disgusting duo and what they have been up to the last week.

John McCain and Sarah Palin should be ashamed of themselves for calling Barack Obama a terrorist. Don’t try and argue that they are not calling him a terrorist because that is exactly what they are doing and they know it. They also know it is a lie, a bald-faced lie. In a freshly post-9/11 America accusing someone of “palling around with terrorists” when the well-documented facts state otherwise is reprehensible. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think they are willing to sink this low. McCain/Palin rallies sound like Klan rallies as they whip the lunatic fringe of the right wing into a hate-filled frenzy.

When Obama becomes President what happens when one of these idiots decides to assassinate this man because fucking moronic Sarah Palin has convinced them he is a terrorist? Do you think John McCain and Sarah Palin could sleep at night without feeling remorse if that were to happen? I don’t know the answer, but I sure as hell could not live with myself if I was to sink as low as they have. How can they treat a fellow AMERICAN and a FATHER of two young children like this? They should be ashamed of themselves.

They are playing a desperate and dangerous game and I have lost ALL respect for John McCain. I never had any respect for Sarah Palin so it’s business as usual when it comes to her. How can this man who suffered in a cage for 4 years in the name of America be willing to SHIT all over everything America stands for? Not the most Christian way to carry yourself is it John and Sarah? Do you think Jesus would approve of such loose morals?

Let’s not forget that Sarah pals around with, and her husband belongs to, the Alaskan Independence Party, an organization whose founder said…

“the fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government, and I won’t be buried under their damn flag.”

Does this sound like the kind of person we want in the white house?

11 responses so far

Oct 15 2008

Mark Ciptak for naming his baby “Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak” without telling his wife!

Published by under Jerks,Why?!?

A friend of mine made me aware of this ass-munching, shit-for-brains, redneck today and I almost wish he hadn’t. This idiot, Mark Ciptak (pronounced Shit-Pack or possibly Shit-Tank), went behind his wife’s back and named his baby daughter “Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak” in order to “take one for the cause.” Sorry asshole, it was actually your poor kid who took one for the cause don’t you think? America, please say hello to Joe fucking Six Pack! I wonder what Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak will use as her stripper name in 18 years? Probably “Crystal” or “Cheyenne” like the rest of them.

Here’s what my friend said in his email, I thought it was funny…

“Way to go dipshit… maybe you can name your next kid “My Dad’s a Selfish Moron Who doesn’t Think About Anything Beyond the Next 2 Weeks Ciptak”… that is the next kid he has with his next wife. Make the most of your weekend visits with lil’ Sarah McCain Palin, fuckface.

There you can pretty much just cut and paste most of the above on your blog. Thanks for the credit… I guess i just made your list… sorta”

11 responses so far

Oct 07 2008

John McCain needs friends!

Published by under Jerks,Why?!?

Why is John McCain calling me his friend? I’m not your friend. You never once sent me a birthday card or even called. YOU COULD HAVE CALLED, my friend!

More importantly, who is the attractive young lady in this photo?  I hope she’s not like 15 years old. If you know her feel free to send me her email address. Thanks my friend!

6 responses so far

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