Sep 09 2008
Line beards!
Seriously, why? I relate to this kind of person so little that I don't even know what to say. Come on, what is the point? These turds look like they are wearing masks - masks labeled "Douchebag Mask."
The thing that fascinates me the most is the time and attention it must take to keep this ridiculous look maintained. You know the saying "you can't polish a turd," well this is sort of like "you can't shave a piece of shit without it looking even shittier." Why are people shaving SHIT?
After searching for photos of these creepy jerks for the last 20 minutes I just want to go cry in the shower until I fall alseep. I feel dirty and ashamed. If you could see my emotional state it would look like this...
I REALLY don't want to turn this into a political blog but I just have to write about this. I PROMISE to get back to complaining about important things like reality TV and various douchebags but this woman is making it impossible not to talk about her.
I am all for debate. In fact, intelligently debating the issues is one of the most important tools for progress. It forces the kinks to be worked out and should bring you to the best solution. But I will never understand the willingness to lie. It always seems the people who wave the American flag the hardest are the ones most willing to shit on it. What could possibly be American about lying to your fellow Americans in an attempt to gain power? People are calling Sarah Palin "relatedable" but I can't relate to her desire to drag this election into the toilet at all. I'm proud to not relate to this woman.
A writer for the Associated Press decided to fact check Palin and her Republican buddies "facts" and what do you know, they are full of shit. Everyone's favorite fishing mom or hockey mom or whatever the fuck she calls herself is not the "oh so pure" maverick she pretends to be.
I'm so sick of this brand of politics. It is a direct FUCK YOU to the American people who are currently in great need for honest and intelligent leadership. It's not easy to say too many bad things about Obama so they resort to twisting the truth and outright lying.
Well it's official, I hate everyone in modern society. PBS is going to stop syndicating one of the all-time best children's programs, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, because of "declining ratings." A spokesperson for PBS had this to say, "I'm a big fat asshole, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
Let's get one thing straight (3 things actually), Fred Rogers rules as a person, as an educator and as a TV host. He was more than a host really. He created the show, wrote the scripts, wrote all the songs and even did the voices of the puppets, for 33 years! Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood was a labor of love and all kidding aside I think Fred Rogers was an incredibly great man. The world needs more people like him.
I guess I'm so pissed because here's another example of how our society has changed for the worse. Kids need to practically have a seizure from bright colors and flashing bullshit or they won't watch a TV show. You know what, that's not true. Kids have not changed but what they are exposed to has. I loved - LOVED - Mr. Rogers when I was a kid and I know for a fact he helped shape me into the person I am today. OK, maybe I shouldn't use myself as an example of a Mr. Rogers success story but he must have helped some other people grow into normal, happy people.
You know what PBS, Fred Rogers was there for you when the government was going to cut your funding in half. In fact he saved your nerd asses with a simple 7 minute speech to a Senate subcommittee in 1969. How about you repay the favor and keep this amazing, timeless show on the air.
Here we fucking go again. I keep hearing quotes about how "people want to have a beer" with John McCain's odd choice for vice president, Sarah Palin. Here's an idea dipshit, go have a beer with your cousin, whom you are probably also sleeping with, and let the adults decide who should be president.
I would hope that our next president is so busy fixing the mess your beer buddy George W. Bush left behind that he would not have time to go with you to TGI Fridays for a beer and a bloomin' onion. After 8 disastrous years with everyone's favorite frat boy in office how is it possible there are still people simple-minded enough to think like this?
Right wingers love to call Democrats "elitists." Guess what fuckhead, the leader of the free fucking world SHOULD BE ELITE! He or she should be the best we have to offer. They should be a fucking genius who can barely throw a football from all the hours spent doing homework and going to math camp. The funniest thing about it is that George W. Bush comes from one of the richest and most powerful families in the country and that stupid motherfucker would NEVER lower himself to have a beer with you and your sweaty friends. Stop packing your bags because you ain't getting invited to his pretend ranch for a kegger.
Fuck you and fuck your fantasies of playing beer pong with your new presidential drinking buddy. Do everyone a favor and stay home drinking beer with your friends on election day. 
First of all, I worked in a restaurant for two years and I know first hand how INCREDIBLY difficult and stressful it can be. Working in a busy restaurant sucks giant hairy ass because every time you start your shift you know the next 8 hours are guaranteed to be total chaos. EVERY DAY!
So anyway, I went to lunch at a nice-ish restaurant with two coworkers (fuck you, yes I have a job) and a couple of us ordered the tortilla soup appetizer. What we received looked more like orange chili or maybe 
I literally don't know what to say about these people. I have been trying to write a post about them for weeks but give up each time because I am paralyzed by these photos. I am not kidding, my brain shuts off as utter confusion engulfs my soul. HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN? I actually start to feel physically ill. I swear to God I am not lying, I can only look at these shit faces for a few seconds before I have to choke down that barfy feeling. If you are a woman drunk enough to go home with one of these douchebags do you wake up the next morning looking like you just dug out of prison?
WHAT IS HAPPENING, I RELATE TO NOTHING! There is no God.
If you can't get enough of these pumpkin pies there are plenty to be found here 
I haven't even finished typing this sentence and already my blood is boiling from having to look at this ass clown's shitty building. I mean look at this crooked hunk of crap he designed for The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is he blind but nobody wants to hurt his feelings? Maybe he's like that kid from The Twilight Zone who can turn you into a donkey or a house plant with his mind if you make him mad or disagree with him. Or maybe he's like a drunk frat boy who wakes up after a weekend of beer-bonging and realizes "Shit dude, I totally have a building design due today!"
The best part about this building? 
