You just made my list!

Guy Fieri… meet the female you. Wait, the female you is actually you. Um… meet a more attractive female you.

Only a few short hours ago I thought there was only one annoying, rockabilly, Swingers, loud, 1995, talentless, douchebag, rocker chef in the world. I will refer to that time of my life as “the good old days.”

Everyone, meet Nadia G, I’m sure you will be hearing a lot about her in the pages of this worthless waste-of-time I call my website.

How can I describe this bore? Mix a pound of Andrew Dice Clay with a pound of Guy Fieri and a cup of Joey from Friends. Stir in some Kat Von D, a pinch of Gwen Stefani and mix until it makes you want to rip your own face off. Words can not begin to describe how much I hate this woman and her two-bit, cartoonish Goodfellas persona!

Try to sit through this entire two minute segment without cutting your sack off, pulling it over your head and suffocating yourself.

I know I have already given Guy Fieri a permanent home on my list but last night he said something that shook my very soul. It’s painfully obvious from this douche wad’s wardrobe that he has a very hard time letting go of 1996 but until last night’s episode of “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” I had no idea just how sick this guy was. I am going to give you an exact quote from Guy Fieri but I want you to know that if you choose to read on, your life will never be the same. What you will read is so disturbing you will look back at your life in 2 parts, before the Guy Fieri quote and after. Please call your family and tell them you love them before you read the next line.

“This onion is money.”

Was it? Was it “so money it didn’t even know how money it was” Guy?

Fuck off.