Seriously, why? I relate to this kind of person so little that I don’t even know what to say. Come on, what is the point? These turds look like they are wearing masks – masks labeled “Douchebag Mask.”
The thing that fascinates me the most is the time and attention it must take to keep this ridiculous look maintained. You know the saying “you can’t polish a turd,” well this is sort of like “you can’t shave a piece of shit without it looking even shittier.” Why are people shaving SHIT?
After searching for photos of these creepy jerks for the last 20 minutes I just want to go cry in the shower until I fall alseep. I feel dirty and ashamed. If you could see my emotional state it would look like this…
“It’s time to face the hole!” Holy shit, it’s the end of the fucking God damn mother fucking world!
Have you seen the Mike Judge movie “Idiocracy” in which Luke Wilson accidentally travels 500 years into the future? Turns out society has been so dumbed-down that Wilson is now the smartest person on the planet. In this film the number one show on television is called “Ow My Balls” which consists solely of a man repeatedly getting hit in the balls. Turns out we don’t need to travel 500 years into the future thanks to Fox TV’s newest reality show “Hole in the Wall.” Thanks Fox, keep up the good work!
I’m sure you have seen the Japanese game show clip on YouTube where this concept originated. In the clip, a sad human who was once a tiny baby filled with promise is reduced to trying to fit through a hole in a wall. That’s the entire concept! THIS IS A PRIME TIME TV SHOW! No wonder most Americans can tell you exactly how many times Britney Spears has flashed her nasty beav but could not find Iraq on a map.
I saw the Japanese clips online just like everyone else and was mildly amused for about 2 nimutes but I just made the mistake of watching the full 30 minute version on Fox and now I want to set my face on fire. I had to use wires to force my eyes open like in “A Clockwork Orange.”
I think about my grandfather who fought in WWII and I wonder what he would say if he was around to see the important things he fought for, like “Hole in the Wall.” I know what his reaction would be, a swift kick to my balls. Ow my balls, ow my balls indeed.
Some people really get their red, white and blue panties in a bunch when you dare question their new hero, whom they just heard of for the first time a week ago, so let’s go into the weekend with a rare subject we can all agree on – PUPPIES ARE FUCKING CUTE! Everyone hold hands and stop being such a bunch of pussies!
Well it’s official, I hate everyone in modern society. PBS is going to stop syndicating one of the all-time best children’s programs, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, because of “declining ratings.” A spokesperson for PBS had this to say, “I’m a big fat asshole, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Let’s get one thing straight (3 things actually), Fred Rogers rules as a person, as an educator and as a TV host. He was more than a host really. He created the show, wrote the scripts, wrote all the songs and even did the voices of the puppets, for 33 years! Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was a labor of love and all kidding aside I think Fred Rogers was an incredibly great man. The world needs more people like him.
I guess I’m so pissed because here’s another example of how our society has changed for the worse. Kids need to practically have a seizure from bright colors and flashing bullshit or they won’t watch a TV show. You know what, that’s not true. Kids have not changed but what they are exposed to has. I loved – LOVED – Mr. Rogers when I was a kid and I know for a fact he helped shape me into the person I am today. OK, maybe I shouldn’t use myself as an example of a Mr. Rogers success story but he must have helped some other people grow into normal, happy people.
You know what PBS, Fred Rogers was there for you when the government was going to cut your funding in half. In fact he saved your nerd asses with a simple 7 minute speech to a Senate subcommittee in 1969. How about you repay the favor and keep this amazing, timeless show on the air.
Here we fucking go again. I keep hearing quotes about how “people want to have a beer” with John McCain’s odd choice for vice president, Sarah Palin. Here’s an idea dipshit, go have a beer with your cousin, whom you are probably also sleeping with, and let the adults decide who should be president.
I would hope that our next president is so busy fixing the mess your beer buddy George W. Bush left behind that he would not have time to go with you to TGI Fridays for a beer and a bloomin’ onion. After 8 disastrous years with everyone’s favorite frat boy in office how is it possible there are still people simple-minded enough to think like this?
Right wingers love to call Democrats “elitists.” Guess what fuckhead, the leader of the free fucking world SHOULD BE ELITE! He or she should be the best we have to offer. They should be a fucking genius who can barely throw a football from all the hours spent doing homework and going to math camp. The funniest thing about it is that George W. Bush comes from one of the richest and most powerful families in the country and that stupid motherfucker would NEVER lower himself to have a beer with you and your sweaty friends. Stop packing your bags because you ain’t getting invited to his pretend ranch for a kegger.
Fuck you and fuck your fantasies of playing beer pong with your new presidential drinking buddy. Do everyone a favor and stay home drinking beer with your friends on election day.
I am going to do my best not to climb too high atop my soapbox and ramble endlessly on this subject, but holy shit does it make me insane when “patriotic” Americans completely ignore the principles that America was founded on.
Did you hear about this guy, Bradford Campeau-Laurion, who was kicked out of Yankee Stadium because he needed to take a leak during the singing of “God Bless America?” I understand that he has a “foriegn” sounding name and telling the cop “he didn’t care about God Bless America” was a bit risky, but fuck off, the whole point of America is that YOU CAN PISS DURING GOD BLESS AMERICA IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT! In fact, go ahead and take a dump and get some nachos if you want, you’re in America!
I would suggest if you claim to love America so much you should, at the very least, have a basic understanding of our most basic concept, freedom.
I watch a lot of People’s Court and the biggest crime you will see is the murder of the English language. This is not a rant against People’s Court however. I love People’s Court. I want to marry People’s Court. People’s Court is the greatest achievement mankind has known.
My complaint is not specifically with people who appear on TV courtroom shows, or this lovely couple to the left (God help us), it’s really about anyone who says “had went.” For example “I had went to 7-11 to buy my old lady a panty rose when I ran into my parole officer.” Here’s the way this works, just say “I WENT to 7-11…” or if you really want to impress people with extra words you can say “I had GONE…” OK? Simple enough right?
Here’s another odd grammatical phenomenon that seems to be spreading. More and more I keep hearing people using the word “whenever” in place of “when.” What the fuck? Stop it! Someone will say “Whenever I went to buy some crystal meth I realized I left my money in my other overalls.” NO NO NO! It should simply be “WHEN I went to buy some crystal meth…”
I just realized there must be people who say “WHENEVER I HAD WENT to buy some crystal meth…” I hate these people.
I am going to do my best not to climb too high atop my soapbox and ramble endlessly on this subject, but holy shit does it make me insane when “patriotic” Americans completely ignore the principles that America was founded on.
I watch a lot of People’s Court and the biggest crime you will see is the murder of the English language. This is not a rant against People’s Court however. I love People’s Court. I want to marry People’s Court. People’s Court is the greatest achievement mankind has known.
